


deleted scene

by CagedSphinx



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Gen, POV Alternating, POV Second Person, Parent-Child Relationship, Secret Past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 14:28:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14499018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CagedSphinx/pseuds/CagedSphinx
Summary: After regaining his heart and the proper research from Castle Oblivion, Even successfully separates Sora and Roxas in an attempt to clear his conscience, only to find something left on the cutting room floor.





	deleted scene

You never thought you would be happy to see flowers again. 

This was all worth it, you think, watching Sora and Roxas roll around in the garden behind the castle, laughing without a care in all the worlds. Despite everything, at long last, they are themselves, and you will carry pride for your part in that for the rest of your days. Namine will have her day in the sun as well, sooner or later, if she will accept your help. 

If she doesn't, you won't blame her. 

Leaving the boys to it, you go back into the castle the way you came, closing the passage door behind you and leaning against it, melancholy taking its familiar hold, Ienzo's justified fury still fresh in your mind. Running a hand through your hair, you sigh, heading back to the laboratory to finish cleaning and inspecting the extractor. The stench of the smoke isn't helping your stress levels at all. The door slides open, and 

_failure after failure after failure, you'll be dusked by week's end at this rate_

Your heart freezes at the sight of the girl sitting up in the half-burst pod where the template made to house Namine was stored. She looks like Namine, but doesn't; looks like Sora, but doesn't. A gentle face with warm brown skin and those impossibly blue eyes, just as surprised at you as you are at her. 

You never got the chance to see her face back then. You hadn't even known she'd become a girl. How fitting, that your greatest successes were one with a face and no name, and another with a name and no face. 

"...do you know who I am?" Her voice is old, full of fear. Your chest tightens painfully, thinking what she must have been through. 

You swallow, trying to find the words, but when you manage to speak, it's clearly. "No.  _i_. Xion." She's so young. She smiles as if you've given her all the gold in the Cave of Wonders, but you can't bring yourself to return it. 

_I just can't seem to wrap my tongue round it_  
_slipped up again, forgive an old man, won't you_  
_that's how it's spelt in Common, lad, they'll read it how they will_

You hold her gaze for a long moment, knowing she will understand. "Is that the name you want?" 

She really does look so much like Namine. You've seen that heavy despairing smile only once, but it's not something you forget. "It's the only one I have," she says. You nod. 

You're not sure when you cross the room; the ruined equipment isn't the only thing that has you in a haze. You study her, and she you, both of you absolutely terrified by the enormity of this. 

You have a child. 

A living, breathing child. 

She doesn't seem to hate you, not like the other replica did, even though she should. Your heart twists at the realization that you abandoned her, hardly weeks after her making, leaving her to Xemnas and his schemes. You couldn't protect her, just like you couldn't protect her brother, or the boy she was copied from, or... 

_come now, don't give me that look, he'll be fine_

[I'm sorry,] you say in the language of your heart, the one you made sure she could hear, your voice and vision wavering. 

* * *

You don't remember Vexen. He died before you became yourself, along with most of those who tolerated him. He'd hated everyone in that castle, so no one you knew ever seemed to have anything nice to say about him, but the person in front of you doesn't match up with what little you'd heard. 

He looks younger than you thought he would, for starters. Axel especially referred to him as an old man, but his hair isn't grey and his face is smooth, even if it's thin. He's thinner than Axel, and taller, and he looks so tired you think your heart might break. Fitting, that this should be the thing that makes you realize you finally have one. 

You know it does when he apologizes to you. He has no idea what happened – how could he, when he died before your life began – but you know just enough about him and about the Organization that he must understand anyway. Your vision blurs, and you try to smile again, but it just doesn't come. 

You know you're a burden, at the end of the day. Something no one really planned for. Defective. A mistake. It's a miracle he even knows your name; you made fully sure you were stricken from the record. 

When you look up again, he's in front of you, and you can see him shaking, feel the temperature around you drop. You brace yourself for his legendary temper, but he just looks at you as if his heart is breaking, time hanging in the air between you for ages. His hands are cold, but you close your eyes as they gently touch your face, squeeze them tighter shut as he pulls you into his arms, far stronger than they look, apologizing over and over but never once asking your forgiveness, and it strikes you as hard as if it had been his fist. You know the words in your bones, even though you've never heard or spoken them. 

_Sweetheart. Starlight. Precious. I'm sorry, my darling_ _, I'm so sorry._

He's crying. 

You are, too, you realize. 

You slide your arms around him, holding on tight, as it occurs to you that he  _wants_ you. You don't know very much about love, but this feels too much like the sunsets at the clock tower for you to think it could be anything else. He doesn't see you as a mistake, just like Axel and Roxas didn't. He sees a person, not a puppet. 

You never want to know another thing about Vexen. 

Ivan is enough. 

**Author's Note:**

> Major headcanon in effect: Even and the other apprentices fell from other worlds as children and got adopted by Ansem, who covered their pasts and changed their names in the interest of keeping the balance between the worlds. Radiant Garden's just Fantasy England, so Common is English, but the language of Even's heart is Russian; all the replicas are coded in it, as are most of his private notes, in an effort to not lose it. His real name, Ivan, is pronounced the same way as the opposite of odd, so it was assumed that's how it was spelled, which is how it got mutated into rhyming with seven. 
> 
> Vexen tried really really hard not to care about the replicas, but Even considers them his children and is rightly fucked up over the whole ordeal now that his heart is back in the right place.


End file.
